Saturday, April 12, 2014

Noah

SPOILERS -- I assume you know the Bible story, and I am not going to feel bad about spoiling the extra Hollywood subplots here. This is awful movie, and you shouldn't see it. 

Plot: You know the story, God drowns all of humanity except for Noah (Russell Crowe) and the kids. In this version, Noah agonizes about completing human extinction by stabbing to death the fertile females on board. [imdb]    [photos]

Review: Unpleasant. The subplot about killing off the daughters-in-law provided drama but was terrible to watch.

Noah is sincerely told; here the Creator is the ultimate good guy, and the Creator is justified in wiping out humanity. Killing the whole human race is just depressing, and being God's instrument to kill everyone is hard to put a happy face on. I wonder why Noah's wife Ila (Jennifer Connelly) hugs Noah at the end.

Most outrageous was the killing of women and girls; Three offenses: selling girls for cannibalism, Noah letting a potential daughter-in-law get trampled, and Noah's threat to kill his grandchildren but only if they are girls.  The threatened infanticide of girls by our hero, prophet and patriarch, was really hard to watch.  The Bible's Noah story is not misogynist.  (The idea of castrating his sons very came up.)

The acting was good. I really liked Jennifer Connelly (Noah's wfe, Naameh), and Emma Watson (daughter-in-law, Ila) too. The women had reason to cry regarding the outrageous actions of God, Noah, and all the other men including director Aronofsky. Russell Crowe was pretty great too. He looked troubled, but like an old testament patriarch; the role required a hard ass.

There were some good visuals, especially the snakes crawling on the ark, and the Noah's story of Adam & Eve where all the evils of the world are acted out by silhouette figures flashing past in rapid succession.

None of the positives outweighs the unpleasantness of the experience and the monstrousness of the story. It's certainly not a positive faith-building experience. 

Cast: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Watson

Directed by: Darren Aronofsky

Rating: 1.5 stars: Not recommended, despite the good acting. Too monstrous. Not suitable for children


More: Noah leaves you with lots to talk about. 

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